Have you ever felt like a jerk because you were a jerk to somebody, and then they gave you a present because they thought that they had been a jerk to you?

Long story, but now I have my very own copy of The EcoLogical Calendar and it makes me smile to see two seasons of it stretched out across my wall. Unlike the traditional Gregorian calendar, it isn't divided into arbitrary blocks of time... time is presented as a flow, with astrological and biological rythms. The days and months are almost an afterthought. it's so intuitive, so organic - I love it. Now I can feel like I have more of a connection with nature even as I live in an overdeveloped residential area with way too much light and noise pollution and pitifully little nearby greenspace. Sorry, did that sound like whining? It was.

I'm working on simplifying my life, stressing less (ha ha) and lowering my ecological footprint. It's hard to stay motivated, though, when you're surrounded by glass and concrete and a secular religion that preaches consumption as the one and only God. As a child I lived on a Christmas tree farm in rural New Brunswick where I learned the names of trees, weeds and animals. I watched fireflies in July. I made bread with my Grammy - she always let me punch down the dough. On my breakfast cereal I had wild strawberries, picked from our yard the day before.

It was important that I leave the farm and pursue the life I have, but I'm also painfully aware of what I'm missing: the clarity of the night sky away from city lights, the smell of clean air and growing things, sounds that are easily drowned out by car engines. I have lived among all these things and in their absence feel a void that I lack the words to describe.

At any given time I may have up to three calendars on the go. It's currently two: a (gregorian)wall calendar in my room and a datebook that never leaves my side. I also have a notebook filled with to-do lists. I often tell my friends I don't have time to see them I average seven hours of sleep a night. I vaguely recall concepts such as sponataneity, leisure, even - gasp! - BOREDOM. Half of my awareness is perpetually focussed on the next task while the other half is usually on the lookout for danger. There's room for little else. The marvel that is modern western society.

Now I need to relearn how to notice what surrounds me. I can't remember the last time I even looked at the stars. The next cloudless night I'm bundling up and going outside; feel free to join me.

It's a good thing!

Subversive at-work blogging while the rest of the office is in a meeting, oh yessss.

I kinda feel sorry for the people who read this, because I either don't update or my posts are terribly unexciting. So allow me to tell you a story from yesterday, which some of you have already heard.

I was running late for the bus, as is my fashion. I grappbed my keys and phone and ran for the door - at which point I remembered that I had promised The Jenn I would take out the bag of stinky kitty litter.

So I grap the garbage bag and haul ass down the stairs of our building and back to the dumpster. I toss the bag inside...and my phone goes flying in with it. I'm standing there, already about to miss the bus, and looking at my pretty pink phone sitting calmly atop a pile of garbage bags. Unfortunately, said pile is not high enough for me to simply reach iside and snatch py phone. On the plus side the dumpster is fairly non-gross at the time. So I do what is necessary: I throw all my stuff on the ground and go dumpster-diving.

As I'm emerging, I see the bus pulling up to my stop. So I dash across the parking lot at full speed, only to have my rape alarm dislodge itself from my keychain and fly (screaming loudly) back across the parking lot. For a split second I contemplate just leaving it there but one of my neighbours is staring at me. I run back for the alarm and again dash for the bus - this time attempting to simultaneously fit the pin back into the noisy alarm thingy.

Miraculously, I catch the bus.


In other news I am almost done the law school applications (at last!) and am getting ready for the holidays. The title of this here post refers to the fact that I'm becoming a bit of a treehugging Martha - making soaps and yummy snacks rather than buying tons of useless stuff for the people on my list. I did go shopping with Trainee last weekend and tried to get some of my gift shopping done...I successfully found a measuring cup for myself and a late birthday present for The Boy. I also developed a burning desire for every product in the Lush store (except for the one I actually went in looking for). Sigh. I know I need to get a move on because Noel Nog is out now and if I don't get my gifts first I may spend all my money on creamy soy-based eggnog-esque goodness. It's just so delicious! Right now I'm sickish and losing my voice. that's bad because my job involves answering phones etc.

Anyway - the rest of the office is back. Must go.

Boring

Yeah that's right, I am.

My brain is mushy for too many hours of sitting around listening to people talk about tax-shifting (and I want a political career? what?). Actually it was really interesting - Ron Colman (GPI Atlantic) in particular is a phenomenal speaker - but just so LONG! Especially for a Saturday.

So now I'm labouring, drone-like, to get stuff done. I just finished my UBC application (it doesn't take much brainpower to talk about yourself, you know...if anything, it was easier than usual tonight). That makes me happy. And I'm listening to Metric and eating fauxgurt straight from the container. HappyHappy.