Dear Vitamix,

I can't stop thinking about you. You haunt my dreams. I fantasize about pressing your buttons and feeling you come to life - 2 HP of raw strength under my fingertips.

You may think I'm being unfaithful, messing around with those other blenders. But they mean nothing to me. I just keep trying, fruitlessly, to find satisfaction with them until your $600 price tag is within my means. You're the only one I want.

Please tell me you feel the same way. We can make such sweet, sweet smoothies together - not to mention soups, dips and nut milks.

Maybe the magic of eBay will bring us together soon. Until then I remain

faithfully yours,
Sassy Tortuga